Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.、Ph.D。に連絡しました。 、モンマス大学心理学部の教授であり、 Stronger Than You Think：あなたの関係を損なう10の死角…そして過去のそれらを見る方法の著者。彼は親切にも不貞とその影響についての洞察を共有してくれました。
その後、彼は次の数年間私をストーカーし、私が臆病者であったことについて彼のFBに投稿しました。彼はメールを送信し、ブロックされた番号から電話をかけて、「拘束命令は一枚の紙です」または神が私を彼の財産にする前に誓う」そしてそのようにsh * t。
私は当時2人目の子供を妊娠して8か月でしたが、彼は週末に兄を訪ねたいと思っていました。私は医者に旅行しても安全かどうか尋ねたところ、彼女は大丈夫だと言った。夫に行けると言ったのですが、兄と一緒に過ごしたいと言っていたので、生まれたばかりの赤ちゃんは本当に充実した時間を過ごせないのでわかりましたが、長男（3歳時間）彼は彼のおばあちゃんといとこを見ることができました。彼は彼らが飲むことなどを計画していて、それが良い考えであるかどうか確信が持てなかったと言いました。 （彼らは田舎の男の子なので、射撃、飲酒などを考えてください）私は同意し、彼は週末に出発しました。彼が去った後、私は彼の親友から彼が週末に町にいるだろうと私に電話をしました、そして彼は会いたいと思っていました、私の夫が彼の電話に答えるのがひどかったので彼は私に電話をしました。残念ながら、夫が家に帰ってくるのはタイミングが悪いと言った。彼の親友はそれから大丈夫と言いました、私はあなたに電話をかけ直すつもりです。そして、突然電話を切りました。私の夫と彼の妻は数ヶ月前に彼に捕まり、彼は彼らにそれを正しくする機会を与えたことがわかりました…理由はわかりません。彼は私に言わなかったが、彼らが止まらなければ脅した。まあ、彼らは止まらず、彼は私に言った。最悪だったのは、夫の家族が知っていて、一度も教えてくれないと思ったことはなかったと思います。これらの人々は5年間私の家族であり、何もありませんでした。 10年近く経ちましたが、とても幸せですが、目を見張るような体験でした。
彼は妻と子供なしで出張のためにハワイに行きました。いい妻のように、私は彼が去る前に彼の服を詰め、彼が家に帰るときに彼の汚れた洗濯物を開梱しました。 I found a tiny pair of white cotton panties (no lace) in his suitcase. He had recently dropped a lot of weight (>100 lbs) and played it off that he had bought them for himself …. they had no label and were simple bikinis so theoretically could have been men's as well. It did sort of explain the pretty brunette that followed him off the plane at the airport and kept looking at my kids and I at the luggage carousel (what an ass to make his side piece come face to face with his wife and kids). I made sure he wore those panties at least once a week for the remaining few months we were together (I set out his clothes everyday and he couldn't protest).
We were together for 5 years, living together for around 4. I came home from work early. When I got out of my car I saw her peek through the blinds to see who was outside. I walked in the door to her coworker on the couch, obviously uncomfortable and clothes messy and her locked in the bathroom.
I wanted to pummel the sh*t out of him then and there, but he was a trained MMA fighter, and I woulda left the house that night with more than a broken heart. Went to a friends house for a while.
They started dating the next day.
It took a while for me to get trust back in relationships.
Image credits: PM_ME_PINK_PANTHER
I caught my ex husband cheating as an accident, we had gone to work in the evening and I couldn't get into my office due to a building screw up, so he let me in his so I could print something.
He went for a walk to get his “steps” in. As I was on his computer I realised it was logged in to Facebook. I just had a feeling.
I looked in the messages and he had been chatting with a woman he met in another country via our work.
I copied all I could and confronted him when he returned, made him take me for a drink and told him there would be no reconciliation. He was shell shocked and I told him to go home and pack a bag. That was 6 months ago and I'm really happy to have lost the dead weight.
He was a difficult man, emotionally abusive, but I lived my vows and tried to help him as much as I could and reorganized my life around him.
I lived in a house with my best friend and my girlfriend, I was working one night at my pub and got a phone call from my best friend to the works telephone as I don't answer mine whilst I'm working, apparently he came back from grabbing a few drinks with his work colleagues and found my now ex in bed with another man, my friend being completely wasted decided that he didn't like that and wound up throwing some naked Indian guy down the stairs and beating the hell out of him once he reached the bottom, I immediately came back and rushed from work to find the police at the door with the Indian guy in the back of the cop car wearing his boxer shorts and cuffs being attended to by a medic and my mate sat in the front room talking to the other officer, he was let off with a caution as it was an “understandable” reaction even though he was drunk. I am honestly so glad to say that he still lives with me because otherwise I would've never found out
I didn't catch her, she told me and told me I wasn't a real man and that's why she did it. She just told me everything she hated about me, went on to why I'm worthless pulled over, kicked me out the car and I had to walk back to my place.
As far as my reaction went. I went home, cried, went to bed, stayed in bed for a few days, thought I was a terrible person for a few weeks, cut my holiday leave short and went back to work early to get my mind off things.
Image credits: Charming-Trashboi
I couldn't find my then wife after she got off work one afternoon/evening. I tried to call her cell phone with no answer. She didn't show up to the house until 9:30 pm. She weaved some tale about getting stuck in traffic. I did some sleuthing and pulled the State Farm good driving app up which tracks your movements. I found out she had been leaving work early, going to the nearby rest area off of the expressway, and having sex with a 20-something trucker she met at her previous job. I decided to interrupt the festivities one afternoon. I showed up to the rest area, parked in front of his rig, and jumped right up to the door. The cabin shade was drawn. I withdrew the shades and saw my loving ex wife with a meth pipe in her hand and was going to town on this guy. He had the gall to tell me to give them privacy. I didn't handle it very well. I called the cops, they both were arrested for possession, and I promptly filed for divorce. The icing on the cake is that a few months after I left, she cheated on her new trucker friend and is well on her way to her 7th "friend". God speed, you wet, musty nightmare.
Classic love at first sight. I love you after 2 weeks. Moved in together after 2 months. Engaged after 6. Been together for 4 years and change. Left my rent control bachelor pad and Picked a bigger apartment so she could have her art studio. Did everything together and split all bills 50/50. We had different jobs in the same industry and made around the same money. We really loved each other and, as cliche as it sounds, completed each other: I am very analytical and stoic and she is a liberal artist.
She goes to ComiCon in NYC (she is an expositor) I help her pack. I drop her at the airport. Everything was fine. No signs of anything. She should be back in 4 days.
She never came back home. She Simple disappeared. Ghosted. The day she should be home I freak out that she may be dead just to find myself blocked on everything: email, phone, social media, the works.
Everything I know is due to the bills she left behind (all unpaid) the credit card we shared (she stopped paying 2 months before) and her cell phone bill (which T-Mobile was nice enough to give me a log because technically was on my SSN). Found one particular NYC area code over and over on the call history and put 2+2 together. She met him on San Diego ComiCon few months before and methodically and systematically put together a plan to abandon me, take as much as she could to NYC and never look back.
Plot twist: she maxed our credit card and amazon card furnishing their new home in NYC. By the time grief turned into practicality it was too late for me to cancel everything. I literally had to log in and see all purchases of houseware, made with my money, for a house I will never live in.
I could not live at our house or afford our lifestyle in one income alone. It was a good 6 months of Blackout drunk, tinder and overall self loath. I am sure I caused damage to other people in the process. It wasn't even the love part that hurt me the most but the flat out betrayal and economic damage (took me over an year of living paycheck to paycheck to get all balances to zero).
Was dating a girl during college. Took her on a vacation to the beach where I had planned on proposing to her as we had been together 4+ years.
While she was in the shower checked her phone looking for something. Saw several pictures of her making out with someone from her college. Had apparently been happening for several months.
Was an awkward drive home for sure. Dropped her off at the airport the day after ending things.
She ended up becoming an anti-vax and essential oils believer so dodged a bullet there.
Not me but sister in law, she was 7 months pregnant and her husbands phone was going off during the night. She picked it up and looked at it when he went to the bathroom and it was a text from a girl talking about how excited she was to be a step-mom.
Funnily enough the girl he was cheating on me with actually told me. She messaged me at 3 in the morning asking if I was still with my ex and I said yes he's asleep next to me, why? She told me what happened, sent me screen shots and I grabbed his phone. I believed her but ya know just wanted to see it all for myself. I left the room and looked through it all, he didn't even try to hide it. I went back in threw something at him to wake him up and confronted him, of course he played dumb. Said he didn't know who I was talking about blah blah blah. Then I said oh ok well maybe this will jog your memory and pulled his phone out of my pocket. The look on his face was priceless. He knew it was over. I screamed at him, called him every name under the sun and then he left the house. This was a year ago and then a few months after that I'm being told that he misses me, f*cking pathetic.
She walked dogs for work. She said she was going on late night walks. She's f*cking dumb though and had her pictures synced to the kids iPad. Daughter asked me "Daddy, who is this?"
So kids and I left to go see my mom, after her denying it up and down. Get a nest notification that there's movement in the apartment. Open the app, the guy is there and she's taken down all the family pictures. Got to hear and watch them have sex. I could only sit and breathe very heavily in anger.
Call her, she denies it, says she's at work. I found out who he was through her Facebook likes. Messaged him all of our family pictures I had just spent $500 on, he just sent back a thumbs up and blocked me. Find his "business" website (life coach, LMAO). Email him, he writes a huge apology email saying she lied to him.
Tried to forgive her for the kids. It's a Saturday morning I want to take the kids to the park together. She has to "work." Still has her iPad synced to her phone. We get back, kids want to FaceTime grandma. I open the app, I see she called him when she was at work. Finally fesses up. Huge fight, then she blames me. A wife with a good husband wouldn't cheat. Then she hits me in front of the kids, throws my phone and keys off a fourth floor balcony, because it was my fault.
I moved out. Not a day goes by where she doesn't beg and plead for us to get back together. Now love is trauma for me, and I cannot let anyone love me without me assuming something sinister is behind it.
I don't care about her at all, and it makes me want to throw up every time she tries to speak to me. It sucks because I have to deal with her the rest of my life for the kids.
It was a day before my 18th birthday.
My boyfriend told me he had planned to take me out in his mazda pickup truck that we named Sparky and get some food from a bigger city down south… Make a whole evening of it.
Went to school. Had a good day. Nothing was off.
Came home and waited. Called and no answer. Waited.
I got home from school at 330pm and it was nearly 930-10pm before i gave up.
I got on the computer and found out through a mutual friend from school that he was at this other friends house. We were friends with her and her homelife wasnt the greatest (her parents were nasty disgusting people who treated their children like punching bags), and this mutual friend had been talking of moving out with her little brother in tow.
I got in my moms car, drove over there and found them having sex on the living room couch.
I went home. Told my mom he wasnt allowed in the house, i wasnt accepting his calls and i was going to bed. I told her what happened and that i just wanted to deal with it in the morning (these days i went to bed early and woke up early).
Next morning he came over like nothing had happened and greeted me. He tried to hug me and i backed away. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that he had missed my birthday night out because he wanted to get his ding dong wet in so-and-sos woman parts.
He accused me of stalking him. Cheating on him. Being a controlling b-word. Tried to do what is now called gaslighting.
I told him i was done. He made his bed with her and now he gets to lay in it. That because he liked her better, obviously they needed to be together.
I told our mutual friends that we had broken up due to some disagreements, mutual friend hr was inside of decided to spread it around school that she was a better lay than i was.
Went for my yearly check up and tested positive for chlamydia. Turns out my ex was sleeping around.
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Visited my long distance bf over spring break in Nebraska since he was stationed there. Before knowing anything, I ended up meeting and having lunch with the girl he was cheating on me with (I sat next to her and he sat across from us) and his coworkers/friends and hung out with the same group twice more. I could tell she didn't like me but I brushed it off since I was there for my ex and could care less about her feelings toward me. Later in the week, I asked if I could send a text from his phone to one of our mutual good friends and saw walls of texts from her giving him an ultimatum to end our relationship. My ex and this girl had also been texting throughout the week where he'd called her the same pet names he called me and he'd call her the most beautiful woman after she'd send him her outfits/selfies all while being in the same bed/room with me.
He ended up ending their relationship and we decided to work on ours. I flew back home, he continued seeing her and having sex, gaslit me every time we FaceTimed making me feel like I cheated on him, and after 2 weeks of indecisive battling on the status of our relationship, I broke up with him.
No one is worth the mental gymnastics that comes from being cheated on.
This is almost word for word how the convo went:
Me: you sleeping with so and so Her: yea Me: wanna divorce? Her: kinda Me: ok I'll file tomorrow
Image credits: scm8809
Worst one I know of is an acquaintance of mine, came home from work one day and found his missus having sex with his dad.
That blew up all over Facebook, and became a local drama fest where people tried to organise a shunning of the dad and missus.
I remember it well because, well… I know people cheat, but with your partners father? Come on…
It wasn't a big dam-breaking moment. It was a lot of little things. Like how she'd cancel plans at the last second. Or the random phone calls from unknown numbers she'd get (this was back before spam calls were an epidemic), or how her phone was mysteriously off one night when I needed to get a hold of her.
I had my suspicions and then finally it clicked into place when I did some Instagram snooping and found a guy who followed her who posted a selfie wearing a very unique jacket that belonged to her.
I confronted her the next day. She denied it. Tears. Begging. All of that. I dumped her and walked away. The next day I messaged that guy on Instagram and he confirmed everything. Had no idea I existed. He dumped her too.
Last I heard she's an EMT in Utah Wyoming. Hope she figured out how not to be a garbage person.
Image credits: guiltyofnothing
Not me but my cousin caught his fiancée cheating.
He was away every few weeks for work while she stayed at home, doing nothing and refuse to find a job. One day, he decides to come home early from the work trip to surprise her for their anniversary. He came home and found her f*cking some guy in the shower. They didn't hear him come in to the house or the bathroom. The first thing he did, he took out his phone, took a photo of them having sex and send it to her mother. A class move it you ask me 😀 he then dumped her and move on.
I had told him I'd be at his place at noon to do laundry (in my machines). I get there, unlock the door, and the chain is latched. I called and texted several times before getting fed up. Guess he never realized that the chain was useless because all I had to do was slide it up to unhook it.
Walked into his dark apartment and saw a purple water bottle and her purse on the couch. I knew instantly what I was going to find in his bedroom. I'd had a feeling for months that something was going on and this was the proof I needed. I felt overwhelming relief. I starting recording on my phone as I walked down the hall, opened the bedroom door, and flipped on the lights. They were snuggled together under my blanket, asleep. They woke up and she smiled at me like a cat that had caught the canary before covering her head with the blanket. He glared at me and rolled over.
I shut the lights off, grabbed my stuff, and went back to my car. The three of us worked together (they're night shift) and I sent the video to everyone in our department before I left the parking lot.
He assumed I was too meek to retaliate so he had one hell of a surprise Monday afternoon when he strolled in to work.
I found out that day, from his mother, that I was not the first woman he's done this to. It was actually so bad in his hometown, that he had been forced to move across the state to get away from the death threats and angry husbands. Would have been nice if she had warned me before it happened to me too.
Wife was acting unusual for a few weeks. She would want to spend time by herself on the weekends and when she came home at night from work she would often sit in the driveway for 20 minutes on the phone.
I'm not dumb.
I bought a voice activated digital recorder and stuck it in her car. I knew what I needed to know in less than 24 hours.
He left his Facebook open. I saw his messages. He was telling his ex he was single and invited her to a wedding
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Went to bed, and left my husband and a mutual (female) friend downstairs drinking
Went down to say one last goodnight, and they were out back smoking. Opened the back door, and they fell on top of me, clothes in the process of being removed, her lipstick all over his face and neck
My girlfriend went to visit her parents and friend and when she came back I just knew. I sat her down and apologized and told her I cheated while she was away. She immediately nuked me with "Well guess what! I did too." When I told her that I actually hadn't slept with anyone and she'd just been faked out she was "displeased,"
I caught my ex sexting a chick and telling her how he missed her on my birthday. I was young at the time and reacting with crying and yelling. If it ever happened now I would just get up and leave. No point in trying to mend the relationship because its near impossible to gain the trust that was lost.
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I found a picture on Facebook of him with a newborn baby, captioned by the other woman, “handsome husband and cute baby, I'm so proud”. We'd been together for 9 years and our kids were 6 and 8.
This will probably be buried but I was in my third trimester with our son. I had a weird feeling about how he had been acting lately, nothing that stood out, just a feeling. We were getting ready to go on a date. He was getting in the shower and hesitated to put his phone down in front of me, I instantly knew.
In all of our years together I had never looked through his phone or I would have found out much sooner. He had a fwb situation for ten years with a married woman that he had known since high school. I would probably recognize her vagina if I saw it before her face.
My best friend was friends with my gf and her roommates. Word got to my friend about her bringing some dude home after a party and my friend eventually spilled to me. As she said "I really don't want to tell you this and I know this will crush you, but I can't keep this from you."
After she dropped the bomb I was like "Hell no! That would never happen!" and then I confronted by gf about it that night who broke down and confessed everything.
I stayed with that girl for another 7 months and God bless my friend for sticking by my side and supporting the whole way. When I finally ended things, my best friend was still there to support me and care for me.
Also haven't dated anyone for longer than 6 months since that happened 7 years ago…
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Ex-wife actually asked me for her blessing to commit adultery with another married man. She was shocked when I said I don't support it, she went ballistic (has severe mental health issues), went and did it anyway and ended up in a psych ward. 2 marriages ended and now the two cheaters are engaged.
Little devastated at first. Blessing in disguise.
I had some really good friends in the next town over where my girlfriend lived, and they figured it out for me. They were super gentle about it, and patient with me through my denial.
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This first started back in December right before we went on a holiday trip to see my family. She started acting somewhat off, kinda distant, and easily aggravated. I had a suspicion that something was going on and I'm embarrassed to admit that I snooped on her iwatch. Found some incriminating texts she had with a friend, so I confronted her in January. She tells me that she kissed a guy that she works with and that was it. We were having some issues in our relationship and I choose to forgive her and we decided to try working on some of the issues we were having.
Well, fast forward to this past May…she breaks down that she wasn't honest with me and that she had actually f*cked this other dude. We split after the news.
We had been together 8 years and had been engaged for almost 2 years.
Our wedding date was suppose to be f*cking yesterday.
It's still f*cking killing me. I don't even know where to go from here. 2020 can go eat ad*ck.
I honestly had no idea she was cheating on me. I just walk in on her and one of my good friend doing the do on my couch. I was shocked and hurt and I didn't know how to react i was angry and broken. I guess, I just turned around and drove 28 hours to my mothers house. I really don't even remember driving from California to Texas, it was all a blur.
My mom said " I was pale white and I slept for 3 days"
And i never looked back. Was a waste of 5 years but I learned alot from my time with her and I doubt I'll ever be able to fully trust someone again tho.
I was married.
Out of the blue while at work I get an email that says (husbands name) 's wife.
When I open the email it lists off a name and says (husbands name) married to her. Check on Facebook
(English was not the first language, this was overseas)
So I do and what do I see? Tons and tons and tons and tons of pictures of a woman with my husband. The woman and her kids with my husband. The woman and her family with my husband.
I was stunned to say the least. It was October 6th 2017, 7 months after I almost died from an ectopic pregnancy. Yep we were trying at that point to have kids.
After work I went home and started throwing all of his stuff in the dumpster. He was out of town at the time so I had plenty of time to do it. Spent all of Saturday and Sunday throwing EVERYTHING he owned in the dumpster.
A month later I moved to a new apartment and waited until then to tell him I was divorcing him.
He then killed himself a few months later
All these answers are about people who caught their spouses cheating, however I briefly became the “other” woman (unbeknownst to me) and it's never sat right with me. I was young, single and going through a family crisis (sibling unexpectedly passing). I met a guy who was fun and great and very “busy” which was exactly what I was looking for as I was grieving and didn't wAnt anything serious. 4 months of romance later I find out he's actually married with small children. We were with his colleagues after work at a bar and a coworker asked him where his wife was. I kept my cool, didn't make a scene but once drinks were over I obviously brought it up and said how terrible that made me feel.
I ended up just ghosting him after that. I wasn't in the mental state to deal with any of the fallout so I just stopped replying to messages. I should have contacted the wife but I didn't want to bother playing relationship police. At the time I was under a lot of stress and grief and had my own problems and emotions to deal with. It's been 5 years and I always feel so terrible for the wife whenever I think about what happened. Sometimes I feel like contacting her and telling her what happened but I don't know if it's the right move or even worth it.
His phone died and he wanted to check his Facebook, so he logged onto his Facebook on my phone. He forgot to log out (and I assumed he logged himself out).
We were supposed to meet the next day (we didn't live in the same city) but he sent me a text saying he wasn't feeling well, so he went home. No problem there, I told him to take it easy and rest. Even offered to visit him and take care of him, but he said no.
That night I wanted to check my Facebook. Didn't realise his account was still logged in. Thought I had a private message. It was a message from the girl that had been chasing him for the past few months, saying she had fun that afternoon and they should hang out again soon. That “maybe next time they could go further ;)”
Everything clicked and I dumped him lol.
Caught my ex cheating with our neighbor about 5 years ago. He had been hiding his phone screen when I would walk by. She even had the balls to knock on our door once and ask if she could borrow him for some construction work she couldn't finish.. he was gone for like an hour. Then he forgot his phone at home one day so I checked it out. Had been sending her “good morning beautiful” and “good night” texts every day for months. When I'd go to work he would text and say I was gone and they needed a “Jeep date” which was code for “let's go f*ck in your Jeep”
I went outside and waited for her to get home where I was ready to drown her in af*cking puddle, unfortunately for me she had her twin boys with her… never exacted my revenge on that whore.. I just told her she's lucky her kids are stopping me from curb stomping mommy… He sped home when he realized his phone was with me, ran up to the front door where I was waiting, and I used his forward momentum to help me break his nose.
My ex-wife and I moved across the country for her job. I'm a teacher, so I can get work just about anywhere.
She decides to get her CPA, and apparently there's like 8 separate tests? I really don't remember, but she had a study group Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday nights.
Except Sunday was when her and her boss would frolic at his house while his wife went to her parents every Sunday. I only found out because she made mistruck her keyboard, auto filled my email, and her details of joy of how he pounded her in the hammock came as a shock.
F*ck you, Michelle
I had my suspicions but it was her who ended up telling me. I went into the relationship thinking "wow, I don't deserve this girl, way out of my league." She couldn't help but remind me how much better he was several times and made sure to rub it in my face. My reaction was a spiral into deep depression. For someone that has very low self-esteem being cheated on is one of the worst feelings. It feels like it confirms all your worst thoughts about yourself.
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I was young and naive. I met my ex at my work place, I actually mentored him then grew close to him since we had the same break times. We eventually started hanging out which lead to him asking me out. I poured everything into that relationship. Even when he got kicked out by his roommates when he couldn't hold down a steady job, I packed all of his sh*t in my car and helped him move to his mom's place.
One day he starts talking about how much he loves hanging out with his childhood friend Z. Well, Z has a gf who has a bestfriend who's always over there. Eventually my Ex keeps telling me how great this girl is and I should meet her.そうです。 I ate sushi with her, I did her makeup to boost her confidence, I went shopping with her. I notice how often my bf would rather hang out with them than spend time with me. I thought it was my fault since I had two jobs and tried to save up for us to go on dates.
I finally do save up enough for a theme park and wore a cute outfit. The whole day bf was giving my attitude. I pay it no mind. He's always like that. His depression and anxiety or whatever. After that day at like 3 am he calls me and starts accusing me of cheating on him because I had a bruise on my back. I worked furniture. I'm a small woman so typically I get slammed into or bump into things. I call for a break and found out he had been "cuddling" with that b*tch throughout our break.
Blocked him off everything and chewed out his mom (who worked with me and knew what the f*ck he was up to) It was a clarifying moment for me to fully understand that although his mental issues explain why he did it, it doesn't excuse his actions. F*ck you Codi.
My ex thought he had deleted the texts. I didn't usually go through his phone at all, but I had this suspicion that he was seeing someone else based on his behavior, his hiding his phone, and by staying later at work. I was actually really hurt, but mostly angry at myself for being stupid enough to date him. I had been warned he was no good but I wanted to fix him, and I ended up getting hurt just like all the others.
My reaction was initially asking him for an explanation. He tried to cover it, and lied to my face. I immediately told him to get the f*ck out of my house and so he did. Which he responded to this by saying some very personal things about me on Twitter. It was a really bad time for me, and I hadn't done anything wrong.
But I picked myself up, got the courage to apply to a job at a larger company a few hours away, and ended up moving to a bigger city. It was there that I met my now husband.
Couple years later (when I was first dating my now husband) he messaged me trying to make amends and said he missed me. I ignored it, and honestly it felt so good to be able to say no to him.
I'm blessed actually, he sprung me forward and helped me more than he knows. Because if that hadn't have happened, I don't think I would have applied for that job, would not have left my hometown, and I don't think I would have met my husband. Universe has a funny way of making things work out, in the end.
He had the audacity to sext this woman at my dad's birthday dinner at the table. He had her name saved as "Sam", which was a work friend of his. I assumed he and Sam weren't texting this way. I made him come talk to me outside and he lied saying it was an old girlfriend from high school who was going through a divorce and needed comfort. I knew this was a lie because he had no girlfriends in high school. I started crying and he told me to STOP CRYING. That was when I knew our marriage was over. How dare he be so callous to me when I just found out that he was cheating on me? Come to find out he had been sexting random women and hiring prostitutes. We've been officially divorced for about 2.5 months now and today would have been our 5th wedding anniversary. Today sucks.
My ex was a big drinker and I wasn't. She would frequent this bar close to our place pretty often with friends. I rarely went because I just wasn't a fan of bars or her drinking friends. One night she went out with a couple that I didn't mind that much. I was bored at home so I decided to head over for a little bit. As I walk in I see my ex sitting at the bar with the couple. The bar was packed and as soon as I made eye contact my ex she had this strange look on her face. She turns to this guy sitting next to her, and he immediately gets up and leaves.
I felt something strange right away, but I brushed it off as me being irrational. I stayed for like an hour and headed home. I couldn't shake the feeling I had though so I checked one of her friend's Facebook page to see if there was any connection that existed between my ex and this random dude. Sure enough he was friends with one of my ex's friends.
I knew his name now and that I wasn't as crazy as I thought. I sat on the information though. The next weekend she goes out drinking again and still had not returned home at 4 am. I tried contacting her multiple times and I got no response. I woke up to her coming home at 7 am and jumping in the shower immediately. I decided to check her phone while she was in the shower, and she kept all of the messages with this same guy. Some pretty telling information in the text thread. While she was still showering I grabbed a fresh pair of clothes and headed to my best friends house. 20 minutes later I get a phone call with her going ape sh*t about me leaving and not saying anything. I laughed at the projection, told her that if she wasn't moved out by Monday the police would be there to force her out. She wasn't on the lease and her parents lived 10 minutes away from me. That was that.
Me and my wife were having a shag. I could tell it was different. I asked her if she was cheating on me. She said yes. Divorced soon after.
Boyfriend asked me to look for something on his computer. I couldn't find it at first. While waiting for clearer instructions I see a message in the corner talking about how she misses him or whatever. I was curious what she was talking about when she sends a picture. Weird. Well I clicked on it.
Through Facebook he's been talking to 100+ women. All of them are either sending him pictures of their bodies or thanking him for the money. I'm sorry, the what now?
Digging further into it, there's a link. It's to some money sending site similar to PayPal. I click to see the history. It shows 4 total pages. 20 items per page.
We've been together for 15 years. We have a child. I'm on disability, he doesn't work. He's sent over $500 usd in exchange for nude pictures. That's over half my monthly paycheck.
I'm furious. I've literally told him, watch porn, talk to other women, I don't care. He's lied saying he's never talked to anyone before while he's lying the entire time.
The best part is we broke up, I got cancer, he moved back in, all while doing this. For over 7 years.
Was (~6 months in) recovering from being hit by an SUV as a pedestrian that left me with a severe TBI (GCS of 4), broken back (3 places), legs (two places), and pelvis (2 places). I had moved back in with my then-GF for about a week when we went to a party and I got left at the party because she couldn't find me. I didn't know any of these people as they were all her friends and none of them could help me get home when I was told she left with the group we arrived with. I managed to walk back to the apartment quite drunk, tired, and in pain from over using my still recovering injuries; banged on the door till my knuckles bled only to have a dude answer the door, let me in, and then he proceeded to crawl back into bed next to her, in my bed. I didn't have the cognitive ability to deal with that. So I laid down right on the floor next to the bed and and passed out. She broke up with me the next day and blamed me for it. This story has so much more detail to it, but I don't want to re-live that year of trauma in too much detail.
Tl;Dr: walked in from a party to them in my bed in my room. I didn't have the cognitive ability to handle the situation so I passed out on the floor next to them.
Back then Facebook used to display on your profile stuff like “dontsayaword2 liked a photo” and everything you did. I noticed he liked a photo of a girl that seemed to be someone he had recently added. So I checked her profile and she was one of those girls who think “they won” because men cheat on their partners with them. She had everything public, photos with him, bragging about the texts they exchanged etc.
So I engineered a way to befriend her roommate, I would then find out she was bringing other dudes home besides my boyfriend and when I confronted him I also let him know about who else she was sleeping with and for him to get an STD test.
Long term relationship for 3 years. I took him to the hospital because he had unknown rashes on him. Long story short, he was diagnosed with syphilis. I was tested, and was not (no idea how i dodged that). I got treated anyway. I was so stupid in my early twenties.
I was working with my ex at a place that also provided accommodation but we had separate rooms. One night we were having drinks with some other people and I went to bed early because I wasn't feeling well. In the middle of the night I wake up to a girl moaning and immediately knew my ex was involved. So I get on the hallway but can't locate where the noise is coming from but it's definitely not my ex's room. I end up wandering around for almost an hour (unfortunately that made me even more sure it's my ex) but couldn't figure out where they were. I got so nervous and angry I started throwing up.
So the next day I ask my ex if he heard anything, he said no, he went to bed not long after me. I decided not to confront him and instead of trusting my gut I started believing I'm turning into a crazy jealous girlfriend, I even thought that maybe it was all in my head. We broke up about a week after for different reasons, I moved away and told him not to contact me. A few month after, I'm doing great and he starts messaging me and after realisinf that I'm doing fine without him, he confesses that he was cheating on me several times during our relationship even with friends of mine. Turns out, that night they were having sex basically under my window. During winter.
That's how I learnt to trust my own gut and why to get out of abusive relationships.
He brought a girl to my work, while I was working. He was a person who had a hard time being physical with others, but his hand was on her lower back and he was rubbing it/kept pulling her close in a type of side-hug. He'd been ghosting me for about two weeks at that time, and he knew my work schedule. Two weeks of no contact, but the second I texted him to go off about what he'd just done, he learned how to use his phone again.
I honestly think he was too much of a coward to break up with me, which was incredibly insulting since we were both coming from long-term relationships where our exes had cheated on us.
Me ex-husband was an early adopter of sending dick pics. I got his phone to get the numbers of his friends to invite them to a surprise birthday party while he was sleeping off a hangover, and there they were in his outbox.
ETA- this was more than 12 years ago. When camera phones were barely functional
I was engaged at the time, in my early 20s(I'm 33m and married to a different woman now). I didn't really catch her, she turned herself in on it. I was super numb over it, avoided her and blew lots of money on stuff and activities to try and get over it. Never did, and ended up leaving her a month before our wedding. It sucked, and I was not in any way equipped to handle that situation.
In a relationship for 6 years, broke up 1 month before our wedding because I found out my fiancée had cheated on me… Two years into my relationship with my-then-fiancée lots of suspicious little acts kept adding up, the biggest one being that I found some condoms were missing from my drawer, confronted my fiancée at the time (I was very sad/angry/confused), she denied any affair, 4 years went by, and about a month before our wedding, she broke down and confessed that she had indeed slept with her ex boyfriend at the time because she was depressed and was simply seeking any sort of way to feel something else. That broke my heart. I was also in the middle of an insane work day from home and had to power through the rest of the job with that on my mind; not fun. Anyways, I had always had a bad feeling that she had been lying to me over the years, and she had an undying jealously towards all of my friends who are women; she was clearly projecting…. It hurt bad that she had cheated on me, but hurt waaaaaay worse that she had lied to me for four years AND went along with planning the wedding. I'm am grateful that she told me before the wedding since we called it off due to the mistrust (amongst many other things that weren't going well in our relationship; we met at a young age so no big surprise). I genuinely believe that she was going through some really heavy emotional turmoil from her past so I don't take it so personally. I wish her well. With that said, I have cut off all communication to her because I simply could not trust her after that. All's well that ends well; and have met the love of my life, and we plan to get married as soon as this Covid-19 takes a hike and it's safe to gather in groups again.
He wouldn't let me do anything on his phone without him pulling up whatever I needed for me – if I needed a flashlight, he made sure to pull it up for me first. He also would angle his phone away from me while using it. So one night while he was sleeping, as invasive as it is, I went through his phone. He had been sending nudes to random people. My heart immediately dropped and I couldn't breathe. I woke him up and I think I screamed at him? I don't remember much of anything between waking him up and crying myself to sleep.
He was sorting through his pictures and a naked lady caught me eye. So later that day I went on his phone (I would never usually do this) and found many naked girls on his phone, screenshots of snaps. I also found pictures of me I didn't know he took. I called my best friend and cried. She told to confront him so I did. His response was it's normal for men to keep their porn on their phones and was smug about his response until I mentioned they were screenshots.
I never actually caught him, because I didn't even try. I just got it some day. And in retrospect, he left a ton of clues. First there were the ads for dating sites that kept popping up on the tablet he had given me. Then he I skated on splitting my computer's hard drive into two separate partitions for absolutely no reason other than to “give each one of us their own space”. Then he started stalking me, even though he was the one who had the time and means to cheat, especially as he has to travel for work 2-3 days a week, while I was stuck at home with one, then two toddlers, when I wasn't at work. He stalked me by following my every movement first via the “find your phone” app he had installed on my phone, then by putting a tracking chip on my keychain.
Life with him was hellish, so I said I needed some space and time by myself. A friend who was put of the country for 4 months offered me to stay at their place. We'd have the kids alternately. On my second weekend without the kids, I went out with a group of friends (plenty of witnesses, yay!) and whom did we stumble upon, sucking faces with a complete (yet really pretty) stranger? Yup, him.
My reaction: laughing hysterically, because he'd been whining and harassing me so much about my supposed infidelities and how they made me an awful mother, and there he was, having dumped the kids at his parents' place and sleeping FB around after less than a month. My friends were so scared I might cry all night they bought me plenty of drinks so I ended up absolutely sh*t faced for the first time ever and had the time of my life!
The separation became definitive and we're now divorced. After bragging about all his Tinder dates, he bragged about “settling” with a single mom because of her high-end job. Good riddance
I had come home from a 5 month cruise. My GF at the time was a court stenographer. So when she wasn't at the pier I figured she had a case or was catching up on transcripts. So I got a ride from my friend to see unfamiliar BMW in my driveway. I walk in to see her blowing some stranger on my couch. Keep in mind this was my house not hers. I didn't say a word to her. I just started grabbing her sh*t and throwing it in the front yard and called her father to come pick her up because her car was an old Quattro and in the shop…again. And up to that point I was letting her drive mine until it was fixed. I will not bore you with the drama but she was taken by the MA's instead of her dad.
I caught him sexting my best friend. It was horrible, I lost a bunch of friends, became kind of a loner.
I dumped him 6 years later.
My ex confessed via text that he got his friend pregnant. I was already going out with friends for the night so they took care of me. Moved out while he was working two days later.
I was working two jobs for 18 to 20 hrs a day, nearly 7 days a week. She started to seem very distant, despite the fact that she would never put in any effort to work or be helpful to the marriage. She started becoming glue to her phone.
I check our phone records and sure enough there was one number that stood out. When I asked to see her phone, she gave it to me thinking I was going to FB. When I went to open the messages app, she grabbed the phone and ran.
I had a back up phone and since our phones use SIM cards, I went to ATT and got a new one for her line. Well all her accounts were linked to that number, so after digging around I found Tinder, POF, Nude Snapchats, hidden messages on FB. You name the dating app, she had a profile.
It turned out that she had been lying about me for years to all her friends and family. Saying all kinds of negative things. I just felt utterly betrayed. We actually reconciled, but I didn't trust her to say the least. So I installed a keystroke logger on her phone and months later she was back at it.
I miss my kids so much but I'm financially, emotionally, and physically better. I got sober and clean and have gotten my depression in control. It was honestly the best thing that ever happened.
We had dinner with her, they were inseparable so I asked (they are co workers) and he flatly said yes, he's dating her. End of marriage.
My first girlfriend. She sent a text to me that wasn't supposed to go to me.